Got a toothbrush?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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