when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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