I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
