Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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