soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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