im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
