so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
