I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
