whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
