Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
