I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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