My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
