Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
