Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
