come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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