How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
