We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
