I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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