do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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