two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
