You're completely useless in the revolution.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
