I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
