I love black thongs
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
