i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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