you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
