He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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