A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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