please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
