I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
