we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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