He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
