I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
