the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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