Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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