i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
