I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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