Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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