Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
