so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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