i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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