4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
