I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
