Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
