It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
