i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
