I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
