Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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