she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
