Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Enjoy the penises
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
