saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
