Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
