He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
