i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
