You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
