K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
