chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
